How Do I Fight Someone with a Monty Python Quote?

Seriously, that's the question I'm asking.

Here's what happened: I'm at the Mega Man Crosswars RP forum, goofing off in their out of character section. I'm Roll. I think everyone believes I'm a girl, but I'm not sure so I remain neutral on that point. That's kinda beside the point of this post, but that's a bit of FYI. Anyway, since Blues/Protoman is Roll's older brother, me and the guy playing him get into a bit of a sibling rivarly. You know how it goes...

I steal one of his sandwiches, he steals my hair ribbon.

I steal his pants, he threatens to tell on me and shave my head.

I threaten to tell on him about the time he (actual quote, by me) "borrowed" that "thing" and "donated it to charity" as an "anonymous gift."

He tells me he sold all my stuff and that I don't have a bed anymore.

I decide to kill him.

That brings us to this page, where Protoman decides to defend himself. Now, maybe I misinterpreted the intent of his post, but he appears to be attacking me with a Monty Python quote. Specifically, "Ni," from the infamous "Knights who say 'Ni'" scene in Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Hankou's post further suggested that interpretation. Perhaps it was the fact that it was almost midnight, perhaps it was the fact that my attention was divided between that and Adventure Quest's Suggestions Board, but I was completely baffled by this and didn't know how to respond. I think what immediately came to mind was "It's only a flesh wound," from a different scene in the same movie, but I felt it was too early in the fight to admit to being wounded. Thus, I go with the second, maybe third, thing to come to mind, the Lumberjack Song. About this time, Protoman sees it fit to start an instant message conversation with me, apparently just to get all up in my grill. It goes something like this:

(AIM SN's changed because I can't remember them)
Protoman: That's right, I went there.
Protoman: How does that fit ya, fancy pants?
Me: I'm not really the biggest fan of Monty Python, but I'm retalliating anyway.
Me: I'm a fan, to be sure, just not a very big one.
Protoman: ...

Maybe fan wasn't the word to use. What I meant to convey was that I didn't have every single line engraved in my cerebellum and ranked by attack strength. I knew I was pretty much fighting a battle of wits unarmed at this point, so I decided to secretly use a life line. I instant messaged a friend, explained the situation, and asked for Monty Python quotes. He suggested the insults the French used in Holy Grail.

In retrospect, I realize there were probably better lines to retalliate with, but none of them came to mind at the time. I don't know how effective these bits would've been, but I probably could have used the Holy Hand Grenade, the Flesh Eating Rabbit, or, my personal favorite, the Beast of ARRRRRRRRRRGH!!! Unfortunately, I was in a bit of a panic since I was now involved in more than a casual conversation, posts seemed to be appear with more frequency than they had a moment before, and I lacked the sense to stop reading the Suggestions Board while a lot of this was going on.

The Lumberjack Song, meanwhile, apparently goes over like a lead balloon, as Hankou claims Protoman had laid the smackdown on me when he countered with a herring. I flounder (no pun intended), not entirely certain this was a Python reference, so I respond with Dead Parrot. Then Protoman hits me with a can of Spam.

My AIM buddy comes finally coughs up a French insult, specifically, "I... FART in your gen'ral direction! Your mother was a hampster, and your father smelt... of elderberries!" Protoman replies my slapping me, saying that I insulted my own parents as well (I'm playing his sister, remember?). This apparently disrupted the rhythm of the battle as he has stopped using Monty Python, but I continue with another French insult.

This prompts Protoman to hit me with Rolling Cutter, switching the battle to Robot Master weapons. I counter with Flying Saucers, a Robot Master weapon of my own design, and he follows up with Flame Sword and Giga Crush Death. I don't recognize either attack, since I haven't played Mega Man 8 yet or any game outside "Classic" continuity except Battle Network 4, so, tired and hungry, I let myself get crushed.

He gloats and tells me to make him a sandwich. I tell him I can't like a sexist remark like that go unanswered, and retaliate by crushing myself with a space ship. That was sort of hari kari, as I had felt embarrassed at getting served like that. At least, I think I was served. I was going to hit him with that spaceship, but I didn't feel like prolonging the fight.

This stuck in my mind far longer than I think it should have. When I made the decision to write this post, I thought it ought to write it with bitterness and rage and top it off with a "Damn right, I'm taking this too seriously! But don't you tell me how I should feel about it! I lost face in front of these people, and I don't know how to get them to respect me!" But, now that I've had lunch and reread some of those posts, I don't think anyone cared nearly as much as I did what happened. I jusst felt stupid and slow-witted for not having thought up adequate Python quotes, although the ones I used were probably just fine. I put too much pressure on myself and was too concerned about making an entertaining tete-a-tete, or however that's spelled. Granted, Hankou's commentation didn't sound like I was putting up a good fight, but it's not like I was dancing like I was having an epileptic seizure out there. Hankou's posts only came after Protoman's and didn't mention me doing anything, so I imagine that if she posted after I did it would look like I got a good hit or two in as well.

Que sera, sera. What happens, happens. You just gotta have fun with it.


Your anime hair color is blue.


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